I was startled when I read... (Class texts)

I was startled when I read….

THE SECULAR SCRIPTURE, page 35:

“In the context of process, the form becomes something more like the shaping spirit,

the power of ordering which seems so mysterious to the poet himself, because it

 often acts as though it were an identity separate from him.”

Occasionally I possess the courage to dig out my dusty journals and crack open the covers of emotions and ramblings of the ghost I used to be.   Entries of wisdom and insight always startle me and for a brief moment I wonder, “Who wrote in my journal?”  Recovering, my next question is, “Who used my body to write this?”  Most often these entries were written during times of meditation and contemplation.  I was relieved to read that I am not alone in feeling like the writer is an identity separate from myself.

THE SECULAR SCRIPTURE, page 60-61

“If there is no sense that the mythological universe is a human creation,

man can never get free of servile anxieties and superstitions, never surpass himself.

But, if there is no sense that it is also something uncreated, something coming from elsewhere,

man remains a narcissus staring at his own reflection, equally unable to surpass himself.

 Created and revealed scripture have to keep fighting each other

and through the maintain of this struggle, the suspension of belief

between spiritually real and humanly imaginative that our mental evolution grows.

The improbable, desiring, erotic and violent world of romance

reminds us that we are not awake when we have abolished the dream world: 

we are awake only when we have absorbed it again.

These passages are haunting me.  I am still nurturing the seed they planted, my thoughts are in a gestation stage and I am currently unable to write intelligently about them.  But, I am certainly startled by them.

THE MAGUS, page 19

After Nicholas’ parents die in a plane crash he states,

“After the first shock I felt an almost immediate sense of relief, of freedom. 

 …. I now had no family to trammel what I regarded as my real self.

What a burden expectations can be --- so heavy that our true selves become distorted under the weight of what others need and want us to be.  Having the courage to say, “No, I must be myself,” means one is willing to brave the potential loneliness and isolation from those who do not approve.  Even now, if my parents truly understood who I am and what I believe they would die of mortification.  I wonder what rollercoaster my emotions will ride once they pass on.  If their version of heaven is accurate and they can see me from their heavenly clouds, they will either disown me or come down and haunt me.

THE MAGUS, pages 21, 355

I was filled with excitement, a strange exuberant sense of taking wing.  I didn’t know where I was going, but I knew what I needed.  …I needed a new mystery.

I felt a near-absolute happiness, a being poised, not sure how all this would turn out, but also not wanting to know, totally identified with the moment.

The electricity in the air, the “knowing” that something is on the verge of manifesting, the thrill of anticipation.  Do you ever have days where your spirit is light, laughter is easy, and the joy permeates from you very pores --- and you have no idea why?  I’ve often wondered why inexplicable emotions exist.  Is it the emotions from our “other selves” from the multiple universes bleeding through the membrane?  Are we psychic and intuitively know the stars and planets are aligned correctly for us?  I don’t know, but I love those days when the atmosphere around me vibrates in excitement. 

THE MAGUS, pages 111-112

Something had been waiting there all my life.  I stood there and I knew who waited, who expected. 

 It was myself. 

It was like a dream. 

I had been walking towards a closed door, and by a sudden magic its impenetrable wood became glass, through which I saw myself coming from the other direction, the future. 

I knew I must live here. 

It was only here that my past would merge into my future. 

There comes a time in each life like a point of fulcrum. 

At that time you must accept yourself.  

It is not any more what you will become. 

It is what you are and always will be. 

You are too young to know this.  You are still becoming.  Not being.

Only the few recognize this moment.  And act on it.

 What compels us to make the decisions we make?  Sometimes what seems to be a menial decision can lead to life changing events.  But how do we know this will occur?  What is gut instinct?  And what invisible force urges us to explore one path instead of another path?  Divine intervention or pure luck?  Guidance or happenstance? 

To be continued…..