CROSSROADS

Ahhh, finally a long weekend.  Because I have the illusion of having just a bit of breathing room this weekend, I cleaned my neglected home, hiked with my favorite companions (my Giant Schnauzers), and unloaded a trailer of fire wood.  But, the most rewarding activity has been allowing myself the freedom to browse and immerse myself in my classmates’ brilliant blogs.   As always, I am rendered speechless and awestruck by the depth of your thoughts.  Honestly, it’s intimidating.   Our discussions in class, your blogs, and the items we’ve read represent intersections for me.  

They offer a crossroads :

how will I think about an issue now that I have experienced other perspectives?

how will I live my life with this new knowledge?

how will I share this information with others?

will I change the road I am traveling for a new unknown or continue on in safety?

will I be brave enough to change from a caterpillar to a butterfly?

will I have the courage to keep telling the story?

will I bail out of the godgame or find the fortitude to continue?

So many seeds have been planted in my Soul this semester.  The Garden that is my life is full of nutrients and fertile ground eager for the seeds to sprout.   But, how to verbalize all that is germinating inside has proven to be more challenging than I ever expected.  I find that when I try to put my emotions into words, the words fall flat, the emotional bubble that I am floating on deflates as I face my inadequate  ability to express what I am trying to share.  But, you all do it so well.  Therefore, I know it can be achieved – and that inspires me.  But, it also makes me hesitant to post a blasé rendition of what I am thinking when what I am feeling is anything but blasé.   I appreciate your patience as you explain your methods to me when I ask incredulously, “How do you express yourself so well?”